Ah, plane conversations
These really happened, slightly paraphrased for memory problems.
Weird plane convo #1: 2003
Me: "So, what're you going to LA for?"
Intense-looking kid: "I can't talk about it. But if you read the papers tomorrow, you'll find out."
Me:
Great, a terrorist.Weird plane convo #2: 2004
Me: "Hi, how are you?"
Old white guy: "I'm good, but how about those Muslims taking over the world?"
Me: "I didn't realize they were taking over."
Old white guy: "Yeah, they're everywhere, behind the scenes, you just can't see them. They need to be stopped!"
Me: "Maybe if they're so efficiently taking over the world, they deserve to. Maybe they'll run it better."
Old white guy: "... (silence) ... You have a point."
Thankfully he shut up about it for the rest of the trip.
Weird plane convo #3: yesterday
Me: "Hey, whatcha studying?"
Guy: "Studying for my medical license exam. I had to fly up this morning for a wedding and fly back out the same night so I could study."
Me: "Hey, me too!!"
Guy: "So what college did you go to?"
Me: "Berkeley"
Guy: "Me too! When'd you graduate?"
Me: "I'm not telling, you must be younger than me."
Guy: "I graduated in 2002."
Me: "Wow, me too! What was your major?"
Guy: "ISF"
Me: "Wow, me too! Man, that's crazy."
Guy: "So where do you live in SD?"
Me: "Hillcrest"
Guy: "Hey, I'm moving there next week! We should hang out!"
Me: "I think the universe might implode."
Homeland Asscurity
Oh, Homeland Security, you make me feel so safe and warm! Especially when someone with a FAKE Mexican-issued ID card stating his address as "123 Fraud Blvd" in "Staton Island, NY" (sic)
has used his fakey card to board airplanes, enter government buildings, and even get into the Department of Homeland Security itself, WHICH SUPPOSEDLY DOESN'T ALLOW MEXICAN ID CARDS AT ALL FOR ENTRY. Not only did this not happen only a few times, this guy used his card for FOUR YEARS. And these are the fuckers who make me take off my damn stiletto heels at the security gate because I might have something hidden in my shoes? And the ones who frigging confiscated my lighter, because apparently lighters are so much more dangerous than matches? It's enough to make a girl want to move to Canadia.
Steelers Bite the Dust
Nobody ever accused football players of being smart. But how stupid do you have to be to be making millions of dollars for playing, already have injury problems constantly, then get on your Hayabusa without a goddamn helmet? Bravo, Roethlisberger, bravo.
http://www.nfl.com/nflnetwork/story/9494405
Breathing For Dummies
A real warning label, for a steam iron: "Do Not Iron Clothes While Wearing."
Unnecessary, right?
Oh no. I know the person this label was created for.
"Wow, I never noticed that scar on your chest before!"
"Oh yeah it's pretty big huh? This one time I was late for a party and at the last minute before I left I saw my shirt needed ironing! But I didn't want to take it
off, because that would take too much time! So instead I applied the iron to my chest and then didn't get to go to the party at all because I had to go to the hospital!"
True story.
I-Totalitarianism
So, uh, the news just reported that the I-Pod has surpassed
beer in popularity among college students. (According to some study in New Jersey.) I didn't think anything could surpass the allure of beer, except maybe sex, and that tends to be harder to get for most people. Does this scare anyone else? The other day i walked up to an I-Pod vending machine in the grocery store (yeah, it's a vending machine that sells I-Pods, so weird) just to see what all was in it and such. This 12-yr old kid straight up RUNS up to me and is like, "Are you buying an I-Pod??" I was like,
dude. This kid is too excited for a 12-year old, he's seen vending machines work. He is straight up going to jack me for my I-Pod if i buy one. Which I wasn't going to, but...still. The madness is getting out of hand.
On a happier music note, if you guys haven't heard of Raul Midon, my friend sent me this the other day and he's just friggin ridiculous.
Check it out.
Dude.
Ann Coulter needs to realize her political views don't justify her being a horrible, worthless human being.
Have some damn respect, woman. In other news, I've finally found my ties to the mother country...err, mother continent.
| You Are Storm |
Exotic and powerful, Storm descended from a line of African priestesses.
Emotions can effect your powers, but you are generally serene.
Powers: controlling weather, creating winds that lift you into flight, generating lightning |
Telepathy
really does exist. Who knew?
Quote of the Day
"First thing I'd do if I ruled the world is shave all the pussies!"
--KC
